So this is not about all the bad things I have done, lying to my dying father, not being part of my daughters' life for almost 2 years because getting high was more important, hurting family members, or ending up on the streets no! no! no! This is not another blog about war stories this is about my journey in Recovery and the joys of recovery. I entered the gates of PRC a broken human being, fed up, sick and tired of being sick and tired, knocked down, call it what you want after 17 years of addiction I wanted out.
The first person I met was this dude with this big smile called Mart the minute I saw him I wanted what he had anyway on the third day I joined the program I remember my first JFT meeting ( Keep in mind it was my first time in recovery so I had no idea what to expect ) So in this JFT meeting they were talking about the steps and a Higher Power my addict brain immediately went crazy see I thought the 12 steps is some kind of ritual dance we have to do to “worship” this Higher Power thing…….but I was so desperate if that's what I needed to do to get and stay clean I would have done it. Hell, if I needed to sit and talk to a tree I would have done that.
It was my turn was next to say something, the words “I’m Morne and I'm an addict” kind of fell out of my mouth, and once those words were said and out in the open I felt relief like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. After 17 years I admitted it I didn't have to hide it anymore. I wasn't alone there were others just like me.
Step work was an incredible journey for me starting step one was like turning the dim and bright switch on just a little brighter, with each step I completed I started waking up after a 17-year nap.
Feelings and emotions started returning, the first time I cried in a couple of years was a shock to me. I forgot how to cry, to laugh, to live.
These days I have my family back in my life, I will never forget that one day when my brother took me out for the weekend and said to me “It feels so good to have my brother back” Only then did I understand and feel what I’ve put them through, I talk to my daughter daily. Hell, I now have money to buy her stuff, thinking about it I now have money in my bank account, and for any addict that is a major accomplishment !!!!!!
When I was completing my program I got the opportunity to Volunteer at the Centre I grabbed that opportunity with both hands, today as I’m writing this I’ve been clean for almost 2 years I’m blessed to be able to work with broken people everyday helping them get out of hell, I must confess after all the time living a new life I still don't know what I'm doing and daily challenges come along every day some days are better than others……… But I'm CLEAN…..and that’s what counts and as long as I am clean I can face everyday challenges...I can face Life on Life's terms.
The biggest thing for me is acceptance, accepting that everything that happens to me during the day happens for a reason……when I turned 30 I looked in the mirror and asked myself How the Hell are you still alive?? Two weeks into recovery I asked myself the same question how or rather why are you still alive after 17 years the answer is simple I had to go through the hell of addiction to find my purpose in life, What is my purpose is it to solve world hunger, to stop abuse against woman and children or find a cure for BPD??? No, I believe my purpose is simple… to help others live a better life, a life free from addiction.
So what do I wanna say with all this blabber? No matter where you have been or where you are today, no matter how bad you think your addiction is at this moment, remember this......
WE DO RECOVER !!
My name is Morne and I'm still an addict. Thanks for letting me share.
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Summary:
Morne shares a transformative recovery journey, steering away from the typical war stories. From the depths of addiction to the redemption and joys of recovery, Morne unveils the highs, challenges, and newfound purpose. Stepwork becomes a beacon, awakening emotions dormant for 17 years. Family reunites, tears flow, and life brightens. Morne's mission? To help others escape the clutches of addiction. It's a candid narrative of acceptance, resilience, and the simple yet profound truth: "WE DO RECOVER!" Subscribe for more inspiring stories from PRC Recovery.
A Journey of Recovery
The blog begins by highlighting the author's transition from a life of addiction, where they faced numerous challenges and destructive behaviours. It emphasizes that the focus of this narrative is not on the negative aspects but on the journey of recovery and the positive aspects that follow.
Initiation into Recovery
Admission and Relief
Step Work and Personal Transformation
Rebuilding Relationships
Embracing Acceptance and Finding Purpose
In essence, the blog delivers a message of hope and resilience, emphasizing that recovery is possible, no matter how deep the addiction. It encourages individuals to embrace the journey, rebuild relationships, face challenges, and find purpose beyond addiction. The closing statement, "WE DO RECOVER," serves as a powerful affirmation of the possibility of transformation and healing.